Cancer in the family Déjà vu Part One - My dad

            Hearing that a family member has cancer is difficult.  I heard it when I was diagnosed, heard it when my husband was diagnosed and recently heard it when my dad was diagnosed a week ago.

                The main purpose of my blog was to offer information, support and insight for others dealing with cancer, becoming a cancer survivor, becoming a widow due to cancer, and the life changes associated with these issues.

            Today it is for me to release feelings I have developed with the recent cancer diagnosis of my father.  When I received my diagnosis of cancer, it affected my immediate family, the same ones now affected by my father's cancer. 

            Cancer is a cruel word with life changing results.  My dad is the head of our clan, as it were.  He has always kept the family anchored and the bind that tied us together.  He has terminal, small cell, lung cancer.  It is the same diagnosis as my late husband Tom received six  years ago.  Tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of my husband's death.

            I  know how difficult it will be to care for my father.   While I was still in recovery from my cancer, my son and I cared for my husband at home until he died.  The memories of his care are flooding back to me as I prepare to care for my father, who too, has lung cancer.  I know the challenges ahead and I am still prepared to do this.

            I have permanent physical disabilities from my cancer and realize that this undertaking will be difficult at best.  This is one reason I have been told to institutionalize both parents. (My mother has Traumatic Brain Injury from a heart attack five years ago and unable to care for herself.  My father has been her primary care giver).  

            It would be easier on me to put mom in a nursing home and dad in an institutional hospice.   True, but end of life is so permanent.  Once my dad dies, like my husband, he is gone forever.   I know not everyone is able to deal with home health care and home hospice care, but I know that I would want this for me, as did my husband.  I want the same end care for my father.  Sacrifices, yes there will be many, but it is temporary. 

            Of us four daughters, the majority of the task to care for our parents falls upon me and my sister Sandy.  We are both in the 55+ years old club, both have osteoporosis and both dedicated to caring for our parents.  My younger sister will help with a limited degree.

            I will share this journey with you as it unfolds, and hopefully will have insights to share.