One of the most difficult things about becoming a widow is learning to live alone. This not only includes the quietness of the house, especially at night, but cooking, chores and leisure time.
I live in the country and I enjoy the spring and summer nighttime sounds outside such as frogs and crickets. In the winter is it relatively quiet outside, but there are creaks and movement of the house itself I listen to as I sleep. I never used a night light, but since my husband died, I began using one.
I know some people leave many lights on or the TV or radio, but this would drive me crazy. I need relative dark and very quiet to sleep. I have a phone in my bedroom of which I never did before and I have a can of wasp spray, 20 foot range, on my bed stand. This may seem strange but it is a small form of security for me. I figure I could spray an intruder as I dialed for help. I guess any form of security is better than being in fear of being alone at night.
Learning to cook for one has been very difficult for me. Before my husband died, my children were still living near us so I enjoyed the big meals I could cook when they visited. Even cooking for two is easier than cooking for one. I have learned to buy smaller quantities and how to freeze portions for future use.
I have never enjoyed eating alone, which has resulted in me rarely eating at the table. It seems so empty and alone. I eat at my desk or while I watch TV. It seems less lonely for me.
I have adjusted to doing the chores my husband did, such as going to the dump, mowing the lawn or plowing the driveway. Before he died, my husband bought a plow for our truck, and a new riding lawn mower so I had the equipment I needed to get the job done.
I still have not found a solution to my leisure time. I watch a lot of movies, play games on the computer and read. I have been getting back into making jewelry, but that is slow. I socialize with my family and occasionally with friends, but spend most of my time at home. I am working on finding a solution to this.
Learning to live alone after becoming a widow has many aspect to it and it is a process of taking it day by day. There are no easy and quick solutions to help with adjustments but having faith that you can and will overcome living alone is a good start.
