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I am a mother of three children, a cancer survivor and a widow. My experiences about life are many, of which I want to share. I have a wonderful family and live in one of the most beautiful places Midwest, Wisconsin. Feel free to leave comments!!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Holidays and Grief


            Holidays are definitely difficult times when a loved one is missing due to death.  This will be my fourth Christmas without my husband.  As I put up my tree, I think of the many trees we have had in the past and I smile.  Some of those trees have such wonderful stories. 
            We have a 16” vaulted ceiling and decided to put up a very tall tree, a fourteen foot one.  We had to buy a new tree stand that could accommodate such a large tree.  My ornament collection and lights sustained a six-foot tree, so additional items had to be bought.  It was a lovely tree.  One year we strung popcorn of which my 15-month-old twins proceeded to eat, right off the tree!
            Remembering a loved time can be sorrowful, that is true, but it can also be comforting to remember the Christmas’ gone by.  To remember my husband, each year a put up a new duck ornament with “In Memory Of Tom” written on it and the year.  I also write him an annual Christmas letter telling him about the past year and how much I still miss him.  When I visit his grave, I ceremoniously burn the letter so the message can make its way to him.  This may seem silly to some, but it helps me cope with his loss, especially at Christmas.
  I hug my children and family members, with a warm embrace, allowing their love for me to help ease the pain.

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