Life From A new Perspective

            As children we are groomed to want more than what we have.  It is a good philosophy, but lacking in perspective.  Wanting more is not unhealthy but often it becomes materialist and greedy.  As we pursue the more in our lives we forget to look at what we have.  After a while we just see what we do not have.

            Having comforts throughout our lives is not a bad thing.  Comforts can be very positive on our self esteem and our happiness.  When the desire for comforts begin to cause unhappiness is when we need to re-evaluate our needs. 

            As I look back in my life I can clearly see the materialistic things that were my downfall.  Some of these things were for my family and others for me.  My children had to have the fashionable and often expensive clothes to feel as though they fit in with the crowd.  Peer pressure is very powerful.

            Even as adults we are subject to peer pressure known as the old expression, keeping up with the Jones'.  Advertisement make us feel that are lives are not complete without their product.  Do we believe them?  Of course we do because we go right out and buy it in hopes the promises made about the product comes true.

            Sacrificing the basics needs to live, such as food, clothing and shelter, we become vulnerable to the predators of advertisement.  We soon forget that good enough is actually good enough.  It does not have to be the best or newest as long as it serves its purpose.

            After years of accumulation we face the dilemma of what do I do with all this stuff?  It is truly difficult to let go of things you have had for years or things we have convinced ourselves that we will use one day.  Learn to sell, donate or throw. The less items you have the more space you have.  The less items you have the more time you have that you will not waste digging through boxes and drawers to find just one item.

            The solution is to create a budget and stick to it.  After you make a decision to purchase something, wait a few days and then ask yourself, do I really need this item or do I just want it?  We have all heard that wanting less gives us more.  If the car you have is good enough, then you no longer want a car.  You are satisfied and that is more.  The old furniture is still in good condition and usable.  Why buy something else because the ads say you life will be better if you do.  Will it?  Do you really want to spend money on items you don't really need?

            The difference is between need and want.  If it is a real need to satisfy food, clothes and shelter, buy it.  If it is just a want, analyze it first and then decide. 

            There is an adage that I believe originated during World War Two, "use it up, wear it out, make it due or do without".  This concept is very modern with the "going green" becoming the new way of life.  Refurbishing for decoration, find new ways to use old things and donate.  Donated items become new items to someone else.  

            When less becomes more in your life, you will learn to value the important things in life such as relationships, family and your own self-worth.   Money becomes less of an issue and working on relationships become easier without money distractions.   After all, what could be better than more love and affection?  Not much.

           

Grief – Memories That Heal

            It has been almost five years since Tom died, and I wonder where the time has gone.  I came across the box containing all the sympathy cards we received at the time Tom died.  I hadn’t realized at the time, that there had been so many cards.  I counted over one hundred and eighty cards.

            As I re-read all those cards, I was surprised that I did not cry.  I did not cry because the cards brought me so much comfort.  All the warm wishes and personal comments made my heart happy to think that Tom had a good life.  He was valued by so many and was truly cared about by so many.

            Comments such as “He was such a patient and caring boss,”  “I had not only the opportunity but the privilege to work with Tom.  I was able to observe and learn much from Tom”, “Tom’s priority in life was his family and he never missed an opportunity to brag about all of you,” and “Tom could fix anything!”

            There were so many comments on Tom’s patience, kindness, and strengths, the affection many people had for Tom just filled my soul.

            We also received cards from many of the key people in Tom’s cancer care.  They shared comments such as. “Tom always had a smile and never complained about his pain.”  “He had a lot of tenacity and survived months longer than we thought he would, he had great strength.”

            It is truly comforting to know that he was loved.  I truly believe that Tom accomplished most of the things he had wanted to accomplish in his life.  This also gives me comfort and as I remember him, I still miss him, but know that he did have a good life.