Yes, caring for my father is difficult. My late husband died from lung cancer five years ago. While I was still in recovery from my cancer, my son and I cared for him at home until he died. The memories of his care are flooding back to me as I prepare to care for my father, who too, has lung cancer. I know the challenges ahead and I am full of fear as to whether I can provide the intimate and exhausting care he will need. .
My older sister told us three younger sisters to institutionalize both parents. It would be easier on us. True, but end of life is so permanent. Once my dad dies, like my husband, he is gone forever.
I know not everyone is able to deal with home health care and home hospice care, but I know that I would want this for me, as did my husband. I want the same end care for my father. The past few months have been overwhelming especially since my parents won't relocate for my dad's care. I know there are many sacrifices, and yes, it is temporary.
When the idea of providing home health care and then Hospice care was discussed a while back, I was in favor of it. Now, I am reluctant as I did not realize the memories of caring for my late husband would haunt me. Taking care of my dad at their home, over 100 miles from everyone who could care for them, has proven to be a big hardship on us.
The discussion was to provide the care at my house. I am leery of this as I feel the bulk of the burden will fall on me. I am not prepared to do this. Going through home hospice care a second time for another person I love very much seems to great of a burden to bare. I am undecided at this time. Agreeing to provide hospice care is a great responsibility and it will give you memories you may not want, for the rest of your life.
As I look back at the time with my late husband, I do not know where my strength came from. As I look forward to the care for my father, I do not know if I can once again find that kind of strength. As my dad's time for hospice care grows near, I will update you on what we decide. .
Whatever your decision may be, knowing your sincerity for your father's well-being, whatever happens will always be for the better. It's never easy making decisions involving health and care at this stage, but we'll always try our best to provide everything we can for them. Take care of yourself as well!
ReplyDeleteHeal at Home